Emotional vacuum between couples .. Causes and Treatment
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Date Posted : 2011-02-05
Married life rich, full of meanings of the real fun of the life of the couple, and women by nature would like to live in the warmth of feelings, emotions, heart and soul of the nice words Tchaaraa femininity, and love of her husband, and it needs to, as you need is a mechanism, and seeks to satisfaction and happiness.
Islam is the religion has commanded us to love, and love and tolerance, a kind word that soothes the soul, and bring hope and life, and urged the pair to compliment his wife and Western abomination reparation for her sake, and Bdhira the seeds of trust, love and affection between the spouses.
And the early beginnings of the marriage relationship is full of know about love and romance and passion, the beginning of the khutbah, and then in the first months of marriage, and may extend to years.
The days pass by, Vtfter the relationship between spouses, and cool emotions and there was silence on the couple, and suffer life marital accumulations, lost vitality, and creeping boredom and routine of life between the spouses, Vttwary emotions and passion and longing, and there is forgetfulness and indifference, and drown her husband in his work and commitments outside the home, and sink into one's wife raising children and caring, and becomes warm feelings and love between spouses and to express them in words, or behaviors and just fond memories, the couple pray for mercy.
Then there is apathy, and spleen, and life becomes meaningless and worthless, but it is responsible for this emotional coldness, apathy, and between the spouses? Is it a wife or husband, or both? Or are there other factors?
The opinion of specialists in the emotional vacuum:
There are many psychological needs for growth of human right among the needs for affiliation, the wife needs to feel that they belong to the husband and family, and not a single until you feel security, tranquility and psychological stability, but membership alone is not enough, but there is a need for other document belonging is acceptance Owalqubol , emotional sentiment among couples, the index of indicators of acceptance and denial of these feelings and exchange indicator of rejection.
The coldness emotional bond between spouses is one of the most important problems that lead to the disintegration of the family, simply to end the first months of marriage, which contains the days and nights dreamy, and introduces each of the spouses in the realm of practical life, so they feel depressed and tired, and the weight of the cost of living and chilled the relationship between them and leave to Life Avenue, has been consumed Awatefhma, a child who Irozkanh thereafter.
One of the main causes of frigidity to what we hear young men and women and read from spinning and infatuation and love, which makes both of them dream of a life all emotion away from the seriousness and realism, are expected always words of love and compassion, and condemns any act or word otherwise, considered by the end of his marriage, and how many of the girls sought divorce just a harsh word spoken by her husband for the first time, like what you hear and see in films and serials.
The vulnerability of the spouses to look at who is more beautiful than the owner, leads to contempt for the owner to a large degree.
There is no doubt that affection, gentle, and the Declaration of love and heart becoming attached to the wife, of the qualities commendable that should be enjoyed by men, time greatest emotions that play an important role in the collection of family life and the renewal of the meanings of life, and the pool covered by what it is emotion fresh I'm between the spouses.
Hence the need for research in areas that feed the passion between the couple, in order to continue their life in the very intimacy, happiness, and housing, and the Prophet peace be upon him Jabir: "do you not married a virgin players and the players." Narrated by sheikhs.
To the extent that this relationship is frosty get as much as weaken the ligament and family disintegrate Alasrp between spouses, and perhaps more physical and moral problems due to the disease "emotional vacuum" are summarized in the following reasons:
- A couple of different point of religious observance, and those of the main reasons that maintain high barriers between the confluence Alateftin Religion is the basis of every thought, intent and words of love and work.
- A couple of different point of moral beauty, there is no doubt that the original convergence compatible with beauty beauty, how couples live with beautiful women reprehensible and be the cause of her modesty, as well as the beautiful wife but not husband Farms Homogenizes same, and this is the nature inherent in creation.
- A difference a couple of hand, tempers and inclinations.
- Preoccupation with one of the parties on the other, either the program of employment or trade or relations, Owalsaddaqat leading to widening the gap between the emotions of the couple, and away from each other, and have every one of them to build the easiest of relationships that fill it himself, after he lost emotions warm and caring feelings, which are not able to use it only in the depths of his house.
- Dumping in the care of the boys, and interest in their affairs and Mdaabthm, and consumption emotions in their care and Marga people stayed Dalalhm.
- Marriage is based on the obligation of both spouses, or one of them and this undoubtedly forced.
- Social problems that clouds our home, and sour mood of the couple and they are many, including what is moral behavior, including what will be materially and the universe of which only a formality.
- Life and routine in its place, and its manifestations and feelings, and knowledge and their relations, and means Tervihaa and Tzlitha.
- Vacuum killer who suffer from many of the houses, and he is undoubtedly one of the doors of evil and the dark nightmare of nightmares, and most occurred when the Muslim communities of the deviation and the first loss was caused by this deadly disease.
- Individual differences.
- Realism in the request for perfection because only God is perfect.
The chill in the marital life due to a lack of maturity of the social inadequate when one party or the parties to understand the duties of married life and its requirements, and the lack of frankness enough between the two parties, and the obstacles that were not apparent before marriage and discovered later, such as the deterioration of Ooankhvad economic situation, or the existence of another wife or the emergence of the customs and social practice is undesirable from both sides and contribute to selfishness by one of the parties, and the lack of clarity of rights and obligations of both parties towards the other, and of the impasse, and the mute doubles, in addition to the emergence of the disease in one of the parties impedes the married life.
The solution is not to get married before a comprehensive study of both parties in all respects, and their appropriateness to live together, and then only through openness and transparency from both of them and find out all of the parties of their rights and duties.
The reasons for increase of love and the renewal of the relationship between spouses:
There are seven fundamental reasons settled by specialists in marital issues helps to keep the love between the parties or, more precisely than is possible to prolong the years of recovery and renewal, and completeness of the seven components is something ideal, it may be elusive if not assignee be achieved, but more and provides the number of of these elements combined that was claimed for the success and the nearest to perfection, which can lead to a successful married life, integrated, we identify the following elements:
1 - Respect the rights and love for the same:
This element may seem strange, even though the meaning altruism self-defense, leaving the selfish, it is known that the saying goes, if we realized this thing we realized the importance of human love and of itself, many of the marital relations become a failure, because the party are not not the same love that you deserve or pleased with.
2 - there should be a good channel for understanding, and communication:
Because the marital relationship is based on the two parties each composition self its own, and shows this configuration, the strongest showing at marital disputes, or in difficult situations experienced by the parties, The understanding of good and the ability to exchange views, advice and openness conscious understanding, and understanding of each of the psychological one, each This is able to revive the love, and away from the choking poison gas bile and buried under the rubble of cold neglect and disregard.
3 - the ability to cope with differences effectively and decisively:
Many couples, especially after the passage of enough time to get married they start to avoid crises Ooualemcclat, and each party dropped a load of responsibility entirely on the other party, may be the husband, who escapes by himself away from the problems of the house, and competing with the size of the responsibility it and finds in his friends or his club, or even his comfortable haven to win his temper, firing all the responsibility of the home and problems on the shoulders of his wife without the participation of the opinion provider advises.
4 - renewed hope in love and away from the dumping in the imagination:
Where the media plays an important role and influence in the process of love between spouses, or which least affects marital life of the cooler fatal, all love stories that abound in magazines, newspapers, books, etc., provided by satellite TV and radio stations, talking about a strange kind of love is not there in the marital life realism, a red-hot love does not stop in front of the conditions of life, as a result of this pressure the media drowning his wife in the same anguish, and closes the pair on the same world of illusions and dreams that did not seek to obtain that love is impossible outside the home.
5 - development aspirations, and common concerns:
In order to live love and passion for longer than he was supposed to him, it is important that there are dreams and hopes of this love, and the two parties should work to achieve it and achieve it, Valzojan when define the goals, or expectations for their lives and work to achieve it, and fueling the flame of love between them, the love without hope goal or not soon fade away and die.
6 - Each Party shall be able to estimate and respect the other party:
This element of the most important elements for a successful marriage, because we as human beings lose interest in what we have, do not realize its value until it is lost or taken away from us others, so there must be respect between the parties as much as possible.
7 - hope and security:
If you do not Etwajadda in the marital life accurately balanced may be Dhararhama more than will benefit them so that women by nature and composition of looking for a sense of security, and you want to look to a man, but when you settle down in the marital home and you get security, they will not soon lack the element of renewal.
- Treatment:
And treatment will be beneficial for the couple in the creation of all new and funny always, to renew the air of their marriage and revive their love.
To endure the flame of love between spouses, and to eliminate boredom and routine doubles, they take a short vacation traveling the Ivhban to break or a farm, and leave home for several days Ijaddedan the vitality and head off Kalasaver without barriers between them, or obligations that leave for the renewal of love and recovery.
As well as respect is essential to lasting love between spouses, and if he knew of their respective duties and rights as long as love, as well as the smile is kind, and not to say words Garah and stinging, which sometimes leads to alienation, as well as reconciliation after a quarrel raises a lot of love and feelings buried in the realm of life.
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